Judgey McJudgement

This is the name my childhood BFF called me yesterday. I was not offended for 2 reasons:
  1. She’s known me since we were 9.
  2. She’s right.

How can I – the girl who spends her time trying to learn to serve like Jesus, the girl who faces fear of stepping outside her comfort zone every day, the girl who strives to feed those who are hungry and clothe those who are naked – bear the accusation that I am judgmental?

Last year when I made the vow to explore social justice in my community, my goal was to get over my selfishness, my judgement. I’ve done a pretty good job. No longer do I immediately judge those on the street, those who turn to alcohol or drugs for support, those who make decisions that don’t align with my own values. As long as they are strangers.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you – who are you to judge your neighbor?  James 4:12 NIV

The thing is, it’s not my “neighbor” that’s the problem. Strangers do not affect my daily life. I am not in a relationship with them. I can let the choices they make stay with them.

But if you are a dear friend, part of my family; someone I have invited into my heart, I still judge.

Seems a little ironic, yes? What happened to the unconditional love teachings of Jesus? Having the nature of a servant?

It’s a huge problem, letting the choices of those close to me come into my own soul. Sometimes, the hurt of others’ choices becomes too much and I build a wall. When the wall is constructed, it appears I no longer care. I become a bitch. Exactly the opposite of what God wants. And it’s all to protect me.

I think I’ve figured out the next level in my quest to obtain the “nature of a servant”. Jesus didn’t only come to serve/save strangers, he came to serve/save friends and brothers. Even when said friends and brothers betrayed him. Hurt him. Denied him.

Today I make the decision to “take the plank out of my own eye”. It won’t be easy and I won’t be perfect. With judgement comes anger. It’s time to release that energy to the One who cares for all. 

Even Judgey McJudgement.

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