Boot Camp. 1/2 Done. I’m Not Skinny.

Where the magic happens

I just finished my week 3 workout of my 6 week trial with boot camp. Man, that 45 minutes each time kills me. I’m SOOO out of shape.

I wish I could tell you I’ve lost weight, even a pound. I haven’t. True disclosure: I got on the scale today. I am one pound heavier than when I started. Yeah, that made me happy. (She said, sardonically.)

Let me tell you, it is not boot camp’s fault that I’m not skinnier. Our trainer, Angel, works us out hardcore. My belly is big because I love food.

Angel gave me a meal plan to loose weight. But when I’m faced with a meal replacement shake and sweet potato fries – the fries will win out every time. When I sit down at a restaurant and I order the portobello sandwich, I’m thinking, “My love of food totally outweighs how I feel about my body.” When I’m getting out of the shower and the mirror mocks me, I’m thinking, “My body is gross. I need to lay off the food.”

It’s a lame cycle. What happened to the whole Marilyn Monroe figure being sexy? She was a size 10, right?

I saw this interview given by Robin Lawley on Ellen. Look and listen to how beautiful she is. 

And YES! I love what she has to say. I just wish I could internalize it. If my daughters thought about themselves in the same manner I think about myself, I would be heartbroken and do everything in my power to change their way of thinking.

Boy, I’m self depreciating.

Then I saw this transformation on Upworthy. It actually disgusts me. Why do we do this to ourselves? (Off topic: Can anyone teach me photoshop skills like this? Just wondering. For a friend.)

Boot Camp isn’t failing me. I am getting stronger. My endurance gets longer each session and my increase in energy means I don’t need that 2:00 pm cup of coffee to get me through the day. I’ll have to be pleased with those perks for now.

I’ll touch base again about body image. The way things are going, I bet I’ll be in boot camp for a while.

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