I’m Still Trying to Find the Nature of a Servant

Photo Credit: Creative Commons Steve Day

Whenever I’m bitching and moaning to a friend of mine she always has the same comment. “You’re the “nature of a servant”. You’re supposed to be all loving and forgiving.”

To which I respond, every. single. time. “I do not HAVE the nature of a servant. I am trying to LEARN the nature of a servant. I’m trying to FIGURE OUT how to NOT BE BITTER and to HAVE COMPASSION!” I may raise my voice a tad with her.

If you read yesterday’s post – you know I have a long way to go.

Jesus told the story of the Prodigal Son I bagged on previously. The Jesus we study and worship lived a life of grace and forgiveness we all strive to show. But I am not there yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be.

I am far from perfect.

It is easier to see the sin in others than to focus on my own wrongdoings.

I do not have unconditional love. I know we’re supposed to have it. And if you can teach it to me, then I’d love to learn. But except for my own children, I struggle with this concept greatly. Maybe I’m confusing unconditional love with unconditional like?

So friends, I started 2012 looking to embody this nature of a servant. I’ve only scratched the surface. It looks as if this may be a lifelong process – most of the time, 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

Thanks for sticking with me while I try to figure this out.