All By Myself

“All by my-se-el-elf. Just wanna be, all by my-se-el-elf.”

What? Those aren’t the lyrics? 

Hmmm. How about this holy scripture:

Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Luke 5:16

Yes. That’s better. That’s what I’m doing. Withdrawing to a lonely place. Well, more like, “withdrawing to a place, alone.”

A couple of weeks ago, I thought my brain was going to explode. Too much going on – I was on overload. I had ideas to process, places to be, lessons to teach, laundry to fold, dinner to cook, groceries to shop. Probably not much different from you who are reading this post.

Before I had kids, I wondered how parents were so disorganized. Get a calendar, people! As a teacher I would send things home, only to have items get lost by mom or dad. How were the kids supposed to learn?

Three weeks ago, my phone chimed a reminder at 1:50: voice lessons at 2:00. How could I forget the girls’ voice lessons? I called Holly, our understanding teacher, and let her know we’d be late. Of course, I apologized and blamed it on other things going on.

On Thursday, the reminder for the 2:00 voice lesson chimed again. This time I saw it at 2:15. I called Holly once more. Yeah, we’re not coming. It doesn’t matter that I have the appointment written down in 4 places and I have no excuses. Keep the money and take a nap.

My house is a mess, papers are stacked up, the tub is full of clean laundry ready to be put away, but every time I get a free minute, I crash. Mind you, this is with my kids doing their own chores. The chaos starts in my mind and bleeds to the rest of my domestic impotence. Thank God for automatic bill pay. We’d really be in trouble.

I am a firm believer in the fourth commandment to keep the Sabbath. Truly, God knows what he’s talking about when he makes a rule to recharge. When I take these periods of rest, I’m good to go. But lately, I haven’t been spending time in quiet and prayer. 

So, I’m running away from home for a few days. It’s taking me more than a few hours to get used to the resting part. I tense with every footstep I hear in the hotel hall, thinking somebody wants something from me. I’m involuntarily rushing through this blog post as response to not having made dinner yet. 

Deep breath.

I have to relax with this gal on my bed, right?

 I’ll be on my way now to grab some chamomile. I may write, I may read some more, or I may just sit and process through the many thousands of feelings trapped in this lump that has been sitting at the top of my throat for 2 months. 

If my eyes are puffy when I return, please know I’m okay. On this Sabbath, I am letting go. Or, as everyone younger than me says, I’m having all the feels.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Matthew 11:28-29 

Spending time at the Sylvia Beach Hotel

What are you doing to avoid being overwhelmed and ensure rest this summer?