A couple of weeks ago, I had a breakdown.
Well, not really a breakdown. More of a meltdown.
You see, as a radio host, I’ve been spending way more time online checking out the news of the world. For me to say I’m spending MORE time online is crazy talk. Who knew there was MORE time to spend in the internet? (Yes. “In”, not “on”.)
The problem with the internet – and I don’t know if you’ve noticed – is that people can be very, very negative. Some seem to proclaim themselves experts in a subject after reading a Facebook post, or, God-help-us-all, a cable news opinion. In the heat of social media arguments, I’ve found myself falling into that trap more than once. My world became a dark place.
You may have observed a lack of blog posts. (Although, lets be honest. You didn’t notice because it’s not like there was a hole in the blogging world that could only be filled by me. There are plenty of rants, opinions, and advice pieces out there to keep you going. But, I digress.)
It’s not as if I don’t have an opinion about gay marriage, black lives, lions, abortion, Christian bakeries, or any other supreme disagreement of the day. However, my energies are going to the airwaves. After talking to Portland for an hour every day, I don’t have much left in me to write. The problem with this scenario is the small fact that writing is how I process. Hence, the meltdown.
I was ready to quit.
Quit radio! Quit writing! Quit church! Quit the internet! Quit everything!
My Bible study friends talked me out of it: “Share only good news,” they advised, “we can hear the bad anywhere.”
My therapist talked me out if it: “See if you can change your schedule. Obviously, the long commute is adding to your stress. Maybe without it, you’ll feel better.”
My husband talked me out of it: “You love the radio. You love writing. How can you do both and leave room for your family and time to just be “you”?”
The solution:
- 2 live shows per week, and pre-record the rest.
- Give up blogging on a schedule. Who’s idea was that, anyway?
- Rest. Take time to just be me. Maybe even watch a t.v. show once in a while.
- Concentrating on what matters – my family. Not the pro-black-gay-lion-baking-choice-lifer (not that there’s anything wrong with that!) in my social media feed.
Here’s hoping the changes bring inner-peace. And if the internet decides to be caring instead of soul ripping for a while, I’d kind of like that, too.
Hey – a girl can hope.
Amen. I will confess here publicly on some days – – when my blog is more personal than others – – I don’t want to even read the comments…
carla recently posted…The way you do one thing is the way you do EVERYthing.
I hear you, Carla. 🙂
Oops. Sounds like somebody got a little crispy there. But I think burnout can be a good thing if, as it did with you, it forced you to re-think your schedule and re-align it with your priorities. I had to do that a little over a year ago. The smoke wafting off of me then could have choked a city.
Anne Louise Bannon recently posted…Stray Thoughts: How to Write a Review
Thanks for understanding. It’s not worth it, is it?
Oh, Andee. I feel you sister. Someone once told me, “Burnout doesn’t happen because we’re doing too much of something. It happens when were doing to much of the wrong thing.” Like you said, not there there is anything wrong with the pro-black-gay-lion-baking-choice-lifer in your social media feed, but that feed isn’t what feeds you. Sabbath rest and family on the other hand… revives a woman’s soul. 🙂
Love to see you writing again. Schedule schmedule. Write when the Spirit moves you to. Love you!
I think it happens to me more than once – I seem to be “refreshing” a few times a year. Sigh. I love you! Thanks for always being my cheerleader.
I get media fatigue too and swing to ignoring the news completely. It’s easier to do without a t.v. I’m glad you found it out and are doing something about it that is healthy. Way to go Andee.
You know what’s weird? I rarely watch t.v. Everything I see is on the internet. I can say I’ll ignore the news, but then I’ll see a post on Facebook or twitter and I have to see what’s up. I need computer Sabbaths. 🙂
I ADORE you, dear Andee! And I totally get how you are feeling and I love how you have come to a nice compromise and we need your voice and I am glad you are my friend – soul sister I think. . . Cornelia
Cornelia Becker Seigneur recently posted…A slide built into a hill and a meteorite: Exploring local parks is our No. 5 Summer 2015 Outdoor Adventure with Kids
Thanks friend. We are soul sisters. 🙂