I’ve been known to over-schedule my kids. I once thought if every day didn’t have an extra curricular built in, they’d sit around watching tv after school. By the time they reached upper elementary age, this whole plan backfired on me.
So we stopped. We asked the girls what they really wanted to do. Each had her own ideas, but both agreed they wanted more down time.
Read this blog post on Clean, by Rachel Wolf The photographs and poetry are frame worthy. The sentiment describes my daughters to a “T”:
My youngest braided friendship bracelets. Strands of string scatter on the floor; evidence of rooms she’s visited.
They both started a fairy garden.
Again, a lesson learned from my offspring. In the boredom, the free time, creativity shines. I’m motivated this week to take a little more downtime for myself.
Do you allow your kids to be bored? What do they enjoy doing when they have nowhere else to be?
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Michael Metschan says
We try and maintain a balance here which is a bit of a mental game – not ever knowing if we actually have a balance at any given time. Shouldn't my kids be learning how to play an instrument or playing sports consistently like other kids?
Our big challenge during downtime is allure of electronic devices and media available 24/7 – which wasn't a problem when I was a kid. You stayed bored until you figured out something fun or creative to do. I was almost a survival skill.
I think too many people are running in circles in an effort to ensure their kids can compete and get that masters degree and make lots of money when they grow up. I read an article tonight titled: "The 'Real Winners Of The World' Don't Have Work-Life Balance, They Have Work". We want our kids to be successful but not as the world currently defines it – look where that has gotten us.
Our kids do need to be challenged, but downtime allows our kids time for introspection, creativity and a chance to quietly observe the world around them. I refuse to let my kids become tools in this increasingly insane world. I want my kids to be the leaders, the ones who have the wisdom to chart a new course because they know who they are and haven't been defined by someone else's measure of success.
Thanks for stepping out and initiating these types of conversations Andee and sharing your pearls of wisdom!
Andee Z says
Michael, you are right. It is a total mental game. One I bet our parents didn't even think about.
I do think kids have to be involved in some extra-curriculars, but there have been times where we've gotten out of hand. Their attitudes are our clue as to if they are too over scheduled. It's a balance, for sure.
Laurie Staebell Bishop says
Andee, I've always been the slacker mom in my group of friends. Part of it was due to limited resources on our part – partly due to limited interest on the part of the kids. Neither of my kids is interested in being a part of multiple activities, and I didn't want the misery that came with forcing them to do things they didn't want to do. (I have no problem playing the parent card when it comes to health, safety, or homework – never fear.) We also have a rule at my house – if you say "I'm bored," you get a chore. However – I have one who's much better at entertaining himself than the other — the lure of electronics wins out every time for one of them. Not sure what this summer will bring – I need to have some options available.
In other words — I have no flipping idea what the right answer is, and I'm still bewildered.