Why Didn’t I Think of That?

Today the girls and I took a field trip to our local Barnes and Noble. I didn’t come up with this idea. Our online school combined a “book fair” (buy a book and the school gets a cut) with other literary activities, like a read-aloud, bookmark making, and a scavenger hunt.

Most parents were right by their young ones’ sides, delighting in all things crafty and scavenger-y. Not me! The girls are 11 and 13 – more than capable to accomplish these tasks that bore me to tears. After I checked Facebook and Twitter and my email and the news and my blog reader and the weather app, I explored my surroundings: the children’s book area.

I’ve always wanted to write a picture book. It’s one of those dreams hanging out there – I just don’t think I’m imaginative enough. I live in real life. My hypotheticals and what-ifs are nil. Then I come across this:

And I want to know, why didn’t I think of that? Or more accurately, what was in author Bridget Heos’ head to contemplate, “Hey! Mustaches are in right now. What if a mustache was on a baby and I wrote a book about it? I bet I can even get it featured at book sellers across the country!”

There is just no room in my brain for that kind of thinking. Or if there is room, the door leading to that space has been sealed shut a long time ago.

So I stroll down a row of books and see Elf on the Shelf out of the corner of my eye. Now, Elf has been around for a long, long time. Seriously, he was watching me from the mantle when I was a wee one, albeit with avocado green hat and pants instead of the currently hip fire-engine red. In these last few years, someone(s) decided to market the HELL out of Elf. Books, toys, t-shirts – you name it – he’s there. And if your kid doesn’t have Elf watching him during the month of December, you might as well tell Junior that Santa doesn’t love him.

Genius marketing. Why didn’t I think of it? Okay, so the Christmas Elf opportunity passed me by. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW TODAY?!?

Because Elf shouldn’t be put away for 11 months. WE NEED HIM ALWAYS. 

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Boy our society spends money on a lot of stupid stuff. If you need me, I’ll be locked away coming up with ridiculous ideas. Maybe someday you’ll be walking through Target and see one of my ideas came to fruition. And you know what you’ll say, right?

“Why didn’t I think of that?”

The 11 year old has a slight obsession with a certain book series.

What’s out there in this big world making you kick yourself and say, “Why didn’t I think of that?”